I have held back for as long as humanly possible from commenting on Brexit, but can do so no more. Can we therefore all agree on some basic facts?
All those who voted Remain are unprincipled little money-grabbers. The only reason anyone voted Remain is because they believed they would be financially better off in than out, particularly in light of the predictions about the terrible financial consequences of a Leave vote. The 48% of the population who voted Remain would sell their sovereignty, freedom and own grandmothers for a few extra quid in their back pockets. The Remain campaign ran like an advertisement for a downmarket Wonga. Remainers are all selfish, greedy little Gollums now crying over the loss of their Precious.
Those who voted Leave are all nasty xenophobes and racists. They gave not the slightest thought to national or international security as a result of shattering European unity. The older generation were prepared to destroy the lives of the young just to try to avoid having someone with brown skin moving in next door. The 52% who voted Leave are all small minded, petty little bigots, without an ounce of compassion or decency, hell bent on destroying world peace (and probably all in the pay of Putin).
Leave supporter Keith Chegwin was more trusted by the British people that Remain supporter David Beckham on the issue of macroeconomics.
The vast, overwhelmingly majority of young people wanted to remain in the EU and have had their dreams shattered by the selfish old. The proof of this is that as many as one in three young people voted Remain. The other two in three either voted Leave or cared so little about the issue, and were so busy posting selfies of themselves on Facebook, that they could not be bothered to walk to the local polling station or send in a postal vote.
In the two days following the Brexit vote the FTSE 100 crashed 6%, reflecting the markets’ view that Brexit will be an economic disaster for this country. In the following few days (and at the time of writing) the FTSE 100 recovered so much ground that it is now 3% above pre-Brexit levels. This reflects the markets’ view that the county will be economically stronger outside the EU. The markets are a reliable mirror of basic economic fundamentals.
The Chancellor and Governor of the Bank of England warned that Brexit would be an economic catastrophe for the country. Now that the country has voted Leave, the Chancellor and Governor of the Bank of England feel able to calm the markets by telling them Brexit is nothing to worry about and we’ll all be fine.
In these difficult times, the importance of protecting democratic principles has been seen as sacrosanct. More people – 17,410,742 – voted leave than have ever voted for anything in British history. Tottenham MP David Lammy called for Parliament to ignore the vote. “Democracy is about much more than the total number of votes cast,” he said. He also resigned as MP and offered to pay back his MP’s salary and expenses. “I’ve been living a lie. I was elected MP with a majority of a mere 23,564 votes. That’s no way to run a democracy.”
The Leave campaigners told us we would have an extra £350 million a week to spend on the NHS and have strict controls over immigration if we voted for Brexit. Now the country has voted Leave, the same people are saying it won’t actually be £350 million a week and we will probably still need to have massive immigration.
At least lawyers can be trusted to be the voice of reason in these turbulent times. Jolyon Maugham QC has crowdfunded £10,000 to take legal advice over whether it is Parliament, rather than the prime minister, that has the power to trigger Article 50 and the formal start of the UK’s exit from the EU. He said that the idea that the head of the UK government might be able to trigger the process which the largest number of people in UK history have ever voted for “is one that suggests we are less democracy and more dictatorship”. When asked to define “democracy” and “dictatorship” he quoted Humpty Dumpty: “When I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less”.
The SNP has told us Scotland will not accept being ejected from the EU as a consequence of a problem created by the Conservative party’s own in-fighting. They will remain a part of the EU by negotiating their own terms directly with Europe. Spain, and other countries keen to encourage their own nationalist minorities, have warmly embraced the idea.
Fortunately, we can trust the two major political parties to run the country in this time of crisis. Just look at the calm and collected manner in which the Conservatives and Labour are running their respective leadership campaigns.
David Cameron asked the people to choose between one of two options. He then carefully planned for the possibility that either of those options might be preferred.
Michael Gove said “if anyone wants me to sign a piece of parchment in my own blood saying I don’t want to be prime minister, then I’m perfectly happy to do that” and “I don’t have what it takes”. He’s now graciously decided to run for the job.
Boris Johnson, who has dreamt and plotted about nothing else since he was a schoolboy, graciously decided not to run as a favour to his good friend Michael.
There was massive anger amongst Remainers when Nigel Farage’s speech described the Leave vote as a victory for “the real people, for the ordinary people, for the decent people”, the implication being that the half of the country who had voted Remain were none of those things. The Remainers then proceeded to condemn the half of the country who voted Leave as being despicable scum. Farage has now become the standard by which decent people judge themselves.
Only Jeremy Corbyn has come out of this well – a man surely more suited to have been a geography teacher at a second rate comprehensive school, who would never have dreamt, in his wildest dreams, of rising to the dizzying heights of being head of the geography department. Now he has tasted a bit of “power” he has developed a megalomania complex that would have made Caligula blush.
Over the weekend, thousands marched through the streets of London to protest against the referendum decision to leave the EU because, in terms of people power, that obviously trumps over 17 million democratically cast votes.
And here is a frightening thought. What if recent events are not a temporary outbreak of madness amongst the ordinary common sense of the British people, with normal service about to resume shortly, but are a true reflection of who we have all become?